Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
he fucked my hip out of place.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
