Cold hands, warm shart.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
