The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
