I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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