If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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