Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
