Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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