rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize