did you get engaged???
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
