This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
