I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
