What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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