Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
