I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
