Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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