Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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