eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
