Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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