i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
