All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
