Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
