I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
