What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
