1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We have started to decorate penises.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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