I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
