mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
