Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
How external is "for external use only"?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize