I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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