you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
