I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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