i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
