guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize
