So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
