Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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