i just google imaged poop.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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