Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
