ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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