Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
dude. I can hear the air.
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