I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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