Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and i looked up. we had an audience...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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