South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
