When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
