I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
