I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
