Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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