Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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