Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
