Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
