Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
