I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
