I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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