just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
