11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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