If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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