i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
