She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
