can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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