Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
