i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
