WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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