I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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