If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you had me at cake vodka
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
