Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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