forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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