I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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