is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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